How about some onsite support?

May 27-July 2, 2005
(Note: My gripe is with Alienware, not with any of its individual staff. To prevent this from reading like a personal attack on some of Alienware's staff, I am using obviously fictitious names instead of real names. I refer to the primary technician who worked with me as Larry, to Larry's boss as Mo, and to a third staff member as Curly.)

From May 27 to July 2, I sent 15 notes to Alienware. Larry sent me 7 notes and Mo sent 3. I also had at least one phone conversation with Larry and one other full reconfiguration of the system at my house.

I specifically asked for onsite support, or protested that they were not giving me onsite support, in emails on May 29, May 30, May 31, June 1, June 10, June 28, during telephone calls and in several previous messages. Alienware consistently refused to provide support.

Let's look again at the support promise on their website (go to the Warranty Bundle section and click on the "Click here to learn more!" link):

"Demand no less than the ultimate in protection. With this plan, not only will you receive a specially discounted price, but you’ll also enjoy ...

• Peace of mind, knowing that you have an entire company at your disposal, equipped and ready to ensure that your computer is performing at the superior level you deserve....
• Onsite Service. If at all possible, you won’t have to come to us for your service needs – we’ll come to you."

Here are some of the things Alienware said in response to my demands for onsite service.

Mo, on June 2, said:

Installing the raid controller card is an operation that our onsite techs can perform. The part that the onsite techs do not perform is anything related to the software side of things, including setting up the raid through the raid BIOS and re-installing windows for you. Our onsite technicians are there for anything related to replacing hardware.

Huh? I don't expect techs to configure my applications, but of course I expect them to handle the system software tasks needed to bring the computer back to its basic operational state--in this case, setting up the RAID (which I had specifically ordered and paid for) and reinstalling Windows. This is hardly a demand for ultimate protection, just basic, adequate, what-I-paid-for protection.

On June 1, Larry told me:

If you would like to review more information about the onsite warranty, you may follow this link to our warranty page: http://www.alienware.com/sub_pages/warranty.aspx. You may referrer to the paragraph entitled, "How will Alienware fix a defective, warranted product?".

Here's what that link says:

How will Alienware fix a defective, warranted product?

We will first attempt to diagnose and resolve the problem over the telephone. If we determine that the problem is with a defective component covered by your warranty, then we will, at our option, either: (a) have you send your product to our repair facilities for repair or replacement; (b) send a technician to your home or place of business to replace the defective component; or (c) send you a component part to replace the defective component. Option (b) will apply only if you purchased the Alienware Onsite Service along with your warranty.

If our technical support agents determine that your product must be returned to our facilities for repair or replacement, we will issue you a Return Material Authorization Number. We will then send you a shipping label for shipping your product, at our expense, to our facilities. You must, however, return the product to us in its original or equivalent packaging. We will, at our expense, return the repaired or replacement product to you. We will pay shipping expenses both ways only if you use an address in the United States (excluding Puerto Rico and U.S. possessions and territories). Otherwise, you are responsible for shipping the product to our Miami Repair Facility and we will ship the product back to you freight collect.

Alienware also offers, along with its Limited Product Warranty, the possibility of onsite replacement of defective components. Please check your invoice to see if your warranty includes onsite replacement. If we agree that a system component should be replaced by an onsite technician, we will send a replacement part either to you or the onsite technician and request that you then send us the defective component.

What does this mean? It means that Alienware has the right to decide whether or not it should provide onsite service. If they don't feel like it, they don't have to.

How does this square with their sales pitch?

Onsite Service. If at all possible, you won’t have to come to us for your service needs – we’ll come to you."

And how do either of these even begin to hint that if Alienware's tech swaps or adds a system component, the tech will stop there without making the necessary configuration changes to the operating system to get that component working?

Here's how Mo commented on July 1:

I am also aware that our website states, "Onsite Service: If at all possible, you will not have to come to us for your service needs - we will come to you." Please note the words, "If at all possible." If I were 100% sure that I could resolve this for you via the onsite service, I would. However, I am not 100% sure as to which components on your system are creating the problem. The best option that I can offer you is to send in the system so that we can examine it with the necessary tools that we have at our repair facilities.

Mr. Kaner, I would be more than happy to give you the onsite service, provided that I am sure as to which parts needed to be replaced. I am afraid that the current problem at hand falls beyond the capabilities of an onsite service that we provide. Thus, with all that said, I must now require you to send the system into us.

Not onsite because the problem in hand falls beyond the capabilities/contract with the onsite service. Depot is the only qualified repair center to deal with the case in hand, we are tech support and that is our diagnostic.

OK, I see the rationale of this argument. But how does it apply to April, when it was (seemingly) just a matter of adding a RAID card and reloading the operating system and the Alienware-installed applications? Or to June 15, when it was just a matter of pulling out the bad RAID card, pulling out the Matrox card, reloading the operating system and the Alienware-installed applications?

It doesn't.

"Demand no less than the ultimate in protection. With this plan, not only will you receive a specially discounted price, but you’ll also enjoy ...

• Peace of mind, knowing that you have an entire company at your disposal, equipped and ready to ensure that your computer is performing at the superior level you deserve....
• Onsite Service. If at all possible, you won’t have to come to us for your service needs – we’ll come to you.